Couldn't Stop Laughing

Have you ever laughed at something/someone so hard that you actually felt bad? I was recently introduced to a website where people can post laughable situations they've been in. The website is www.fmylife.com
I think the people who post on here want others to feel sorry for them, but secretly want to give the rest of us a good laugh. Why else would you post a very embarrassing moment of your life on there? Here is an example:
Today, I was introduced to my boyfriend's family at their family reunion for the first time. As I sat on the couch, his 4-year old sister comes in and jumps onto my lap. For a moment I was happy to think his sister liked me, only to hear her say "You're fat! I like fat things." FML

Or better yet, this one:
Today, I was stepping out of the shower while home alone. I heard voices coming from the living room. I grabbed a bat to defend my self and ran into the living room. I slipped on my tile floor and smashed my TV with the bat. No one was in my house but I left my radio turned on. FML

This one makes me feel really bad--both for her and for laughing hysterically:
Today, I told my boyfriend that I'd be going on a trip to Europe. I assured him that I would never cheat on him with any european guys. He replied with, "Why would I be worried? You're not very pretty." FML

If you're feeling really down, I suggest you click the link and make yourself feel better by laughing at other people's lives.

All New Low

You'd have to live a million live and suffer immense pain in each one to even sympathize with me today. I'd rather be burnt alive than relive the last half-hour. I'd rather be thrown from a speeding car, dunked in acid, stomped by a raging bull, and dragged across 1000 miles of razors. I'd take all of that and be grateful.

To truly understand this blog post you'll need background information. My parents, Stephen and Sarah, aren't exactly in the running for parents of the year. In fact they belong in a select pool of individuals who shouldn't have been allowed to procreate.

Stephen:
Vehemently refuses to conform to American society. He'd rather live like he was still in Sudan. (Forcing everyone around him to do so too) You might ask yourself "Whats so wrong with that?" You have no idea, but that's a whole other blog topic. Stephen ALWAYS overreacts and expects the impossible from everybody.

Sarah:
The obedient housewife. How many times have I stood up for this woman?! Never one to outwardly disagree with Stephen, Sarah always makes things worse. Her favorite torture technique is comparing her children to other people's children, then belittling everything that makes her children themselves. The same goes for Stephen, but this is Sarah's specialty.

I could easily ramble about how horrible life is with them, but I'm focusing on the one event that changed it all. The one event that can't be topped or undone. No, they didn't beat me, but I wish they had. It probably would have been easier to take then what they actually did.

Today started out like any other Sunday. Boring and empty. I decided to stay in bed and listen to my Ipod. Apparently, Stephen had been calling my name for some time, but I couldn't hear him. He busted into my room and demanded to know why I was ignoring him. I tried to explain, but I was wasting my breath--he wasn't even listening.

He tells me to go to the living room. Stephen decides that I stayed in bed because I'm lazy and that I don't want to be with the family. (Which isn't true, I already told you why). Now, I'm angry because I'm being yelled at for doing absolutely nothing. So I went into the kitchen, and I guess I had a dirty look on my face, which Sarah decides was directed at her (It wasn't). She scoffs, almost hisses at me. "Don't look at me like that." Again, I try to explain, but she isn't hearing a word I'm saying either.

I'm so angry that I'm on the verge of tears. They're out to get me, I haven't done ANYTHING they've already begun to verbally reduce me tears. The angry look on my face sets Stephen off. He decides we need to have a little talk. (These never end well) He politely asks what I want, where I want to go. I don't understand what he's talking about, so I stayed silent. He says "This is just a talk, I want to know what you really want, because you don't want to be in this family" It suddenly clicked. I'm being kicked out...(He threatened to kick me out the previous week for stating the obvious: he hates giving people rides)

Sarah walks in, she sits next to Stephen and chimes in "Good, I better sit in on this. She was giving me dirty looks in the kitchen." At that moment I wanted to lunge at her throat. She ALWAYS makes things worse. I was being Tag-Teamed by these two Nazis and I had no way out.

Stephen kept asking where I wanted to go because he didn't want in his house anymore. I stayed silent. He yelled about how he can't live in the same house as someone who doesn't smile, always stays in their room because they hate their family (I'm a loner, I like being by myself), & someone who is always gets angry when they're asked (TOLD) to do things (Am I supposed to be ecstatic about it?). He went on yelling about how I'm ungrateful and undeserving. He wasted his time raising a useless daughter who would amount to nothing. Sarah added in that I'm lazy and stupid. She went off on how Martha and Chol know how to cook traditional meals and that I was abandoning the culture.

The entire time my eyes were welling up because this was a one-way conversation. I couldn't defend myself so I stayed silent and cried. Then, they said something that nobody should ever hear. Words that carry more weight than anyone can imagine.

Like I wasn't even there, they discussed how much better their lives would have been if I had died in Kenya (I was really sick as a baby). They talked about how everyone would be so much happier and how everyone would think of them better because they wouldn't be hindered by an embarrassing/disappointing daughter.

The tears just started pouring out. I always knew I wasn't their favorite child, but to hear them wish out loud that I was dead is worse than death itself. And just they way they talked about it added to the sting, they were so casual, as if they were talking about the weather. Sarah casually suggested suicide.

Honestly, I considered it for a moment. Why not end it? It's not like they care either way! I would be free. Free from the stress, the yelling, and belittling. But then I would just be giving them what they wanted. And what about my friends? The only people I'm ever happy around. I can't take my own life--I have to much to live for.

I've decided to stay here. Even though that means I have to suffer as if I'm being burn alive every time they look at me. But on the bright side, just two more years and I'm gone. The second I turn 18 I'm never looking back. Stephen and Sarah who?

Disney: Creator of Future Train Wrecks and Over-Advertised Pop Stars

Miley Cyrus: The latest cardboard cut-out from the disney channel line. Loved by all repressed "tweens". If I hear another Miley Cyrus song, I might just shoot someone in the face. My little sister insists on singing her songs 24/7. Have you ever watched her show "Hannah Montana"? Don't, it will turn your brain to mush. The entire cast of that train wreck is utterly talentless. I've seen 3rd graders in Christmas Plays with better acting skills than them. Can she even sing? If you pay attention you might actually realize that she doesn't sing; she yells. Ugh, I'm just really tired of her. Maybe she'll fade like most Disney children, or she'll grow up to become a tragic starlet like her predecessors[Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears, etc.]
I probably should channel my disgust toward the evil media giant that is Disney. What happened to Disney? Once upon a time it use to be about the classic cartoons and quality entertainment. Disney has perversly cheapened entertainment and the poor child stars it lures into its vicious cycle of over-used laugh tracks and future train-wreckism. But I guess as long as parents are willing to empty their pockets for Disney, I'm going to stop complaining.

So Sad...

I'm sure most of you have heard by now about Michael Phelps' incriminating photo. When I first heard about it I thought "Who cares!? He is 23 years old, and he just owned China. Let the guy enjoy himself!". Now he has been suspended for 3 months, and the 2012 olympic games are on the line. What?! Seriously, we need to get lives. Why do we hold celebrities to a certain standard that we would never impose on ourselves? If he was just some random guy, would you really care? One reason people are so upset by this, is that they considered Phelps' their hero/role model. I have a few things to say to people who put celebrities and athletes on pedastals, then feel crushed when they turn out to be human:
1. Really?
2.They're regular people just like you, you'd be better off looking up to your neighbor.
3. They don't owe you anything, there is no legally binding contract that says they have to be your role model and live up to your standards.
4. Look up to people you actually know...
I personally think that Phelps' has nothing to apologize for. We should probably apologize to him for being nosy and overreactive to his personal choices. Celebrities and athletes are human too, they just happen to be in the public eye and subject to our intense criticism.

Lovely Weather

Have you noticed how much warmer its been lately? I love it! But of course, it's going to inevitably get colder and crush my hopes of an early spring...
I went grocery shopping yesterday and all I needed was a light jacket! And I actually saw the sun for the first time in forever--we used to be amazing friends, back when he was around lol. We'll I'm going to go enjoy it while it lasts :)

Really?

I was at Winterfest last night--it was pretty lame. The DJ, for some reason, kept playing songs that the crowd wasn't really responding to. People stood around for the most part.
Now, the reason for the title is quite shocking. So there I was, just dancing with friends, when I saw them. There was this...couple [for lack of a better word] and they were "dancing", if you could call it that. The act was so outrageous that people were gasping and pointing at them. This "couple" took grinding to a whole new level. I will not go into the details, but they were pretty much having sex on the dancefloor.
The only thing more shocking than their lack of shame, is peoples reaction toward it. Most guys were literally craning their necks to see, then encouraging the guy to keep going [REALLY?!]. Most of the girls had a look of disgust on their faces; I don't blame them, it was over the top.
This got me thinking, will this become the new standard dance act at these dances? I have no problem with grinding, because everybody does it. Its suggestive, but harmless. There probably be limits though. Try to keep it from being live pornography please!