Fairy Flute-Man

It was a foggy, Thursday afternoon and I was riding the bus. The boredom seemed to be a mutual feeling for everybody. As I stared into the emptiness, I heard the most beautiful song ever. Like a ray of sunshine, he played the flute. 'Twas no ordinary flute, it was made of bedazzled paper and only played one note. He wore a snow white toga with a gold brooch upon his left shoulder. He danced down the aisle; an old-timey folk dance. The passengers on the bus clapped along as they cheered and sang along. The lyrics depicted the beauty of the Sibley playground during spring. His presence uplifted the spirits of the defeated and hopeless youth. Soon, the entire bus transformed into a Greek courtyard filled with people dancing in great delight. As soon as I started to participate in the festivities, it all disappeared. I soon realized that it was all in my head. It wasn't real. I decided to go back to being bored and staring out the window. I will never forget the amazing Fairy Flute-Man that made my afternoon livlier.

ENVY GREEN ISN'T A LOVELY COLOR, DEAR

I'LL ADMIT THAT I HAVE ENVIED PEOPLE FOR SOME CHILDISH REASONS. JEALOUSY. THE NAME ALONE SOUNDS DISGUSTINGLY HORRIBLE. I WAS JUST LISTENING TO THIS SONG WHERE IT KEPT REPEATING "I'M THE NEW CANCER , NEVER LOOKED BETTER AND YOU CAN'T STAND...(other lyrics)...WHISPERING WHEN DID HE GET ALL CONFIDENT?" IT DETAILS A SELF ABSORBED DIVA WHO IS CRUSHED WHEN SHE IS NO LONGER THE MOST INTERESTING PERSON AROUND TOWN. SHE GETS JEALOUS AND THE NEWBIE RUBS IT IN HER FACE. HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED THAT JEALOUSY HAS ENDED IN TRAGEDY 99.9% OF THE TIME? THINK ABOUT IT, THE BOELYN GIRLS WHO COMPETED AGAINST EACH OTHER, THEN ENVIED THE OTHER WHO SUCCEEDED IN MARRYING HENRY VIII. QUEEN MARY WAS ALWYS JEALOUS OF FUTURE QUEEN ELIZABETH, SHE ALMOST HAD HER KILLED BECAUSE SHE WAS SO JEALOUS WHEN THEY WERE CHILDREN. NOW THE RELEVANT EXAMPLES THAT APPEAL TO OUR INTERESTS. R E A L I T Y T V. ALL OF THE DIFFERENT SHOWS HAVE ON THING IN COMMON, THE CONTESTANTS WANT ATTENTION. WHEN SOMEONE ELSE STARTS GETTING MORE ATTENTION ALL *** BREAKS LOOSE :] THERE ARE CRAZY GIRL FIGHTS, TOILET SCRUBBING WITH ONE'S TOOTHBRUSH, LIE SPREADING, AND ALL OUT FITS THAT ARE LATER PUT IN COUNTDOWNS LIKE "100 BEST REALITY SHOW FREAK OUTS". A WORD OF ADVICE--JEALOUSY IS AN UGLY THING, TRY NOT TO BE ENVIOUS OF OTHERS!

Fabled Foreign Tongues

How cool would it be if you knew a language that hardly anubody else knew? I know what that's like and it's actually pretty sweet. I could be in a room full of people and say something in that language and only one person would understand what the heck I was talking about. That person is Martha. I think that being multilingual is a very interesting interesting thing. It may help you in future careers or just in general. If everybody could speak 3 or more languages it would make life a lot easier. America is one huge melting pot of different cultures and ethnicities. Language is one of the many things that make us human and if everybody made an effort to try to get to know 2 or 3 cultures that are not their own, then we could further ourselves as a cultured population. It would also encourage acceptance and curiosity. Or if you are REALLY creative, you could create a language of your own!

DRAMA....LEAVE IT IN THE THEATER

HAVE YOU EVER JUST WISHED PEOPLE WOULKD STOP BEING SO DRAMATIC. SOMETIMES AS I WALK THE HALLS OF ALHS, I COULD SWEAR I WAS AT PARAMOUNT STUDIOS! THE DIVAS AND PRIMA DONNAS OF THIS GENERATION ARE ALMOST TOO MUCH TO BEAR. JUST THE OTHER DAY THERE WAS A FIGHT ON THE BUS. IT ALL STARTED BECAUSE SOMEONE WANTED TO KNOW WHO THEY VOTED FOR. ONE PERSON--LETS CALL HER MISS THANG BECAUSE SHE BELIVES SHE IS ALL THAT...AND THEN SOME. WELL MISS THANG WAS ASKING PEOPLE WHO THEY VOTED FOR AND ONE GIRL DIDN'T LIKE IT. LETS CALL HER DITZY DAISY. WELL DITZ TOLD THANG TO SHUT UP AND STOP ASKING PEOPLE WHO THEY VOTED FOR. THANG THEN PROCEEDED TO THREATEN DITZ WITH VIOLENCE. AS THANG WAS GETTING OFF THE BUS SHE ATTACKED DITZ WITH HER PURSE. DITZ THEN WENT AHEAD AND STARTED FIGHTING BACK. THIS WAS THE ULRIMATE CARICATURE OF A GIRL FIGHT. LOTS OF HAIR PULLING AND SCREAMING. I ATTEPTED TO BREAK UP THE WHOLE FIASCO, BUT I ENDED UP GETTING HIT! WHO EVER THOUGHT THAT DITZY DAISY WOULD FIGHT DIRTY--OR THAT THANG WAS SUCH A VIOLENT PERSON. IT MUST BE THE WATER AROUND HERE.....

VILLAINS

HAVE YOU EVER HAD A FAVORITE VILLIAN? MY FAVS ARE THE JOKER IN THE LATEST BATMAN MOVIE AND SYLAR/GABRIEL FROM THE PHENOMENON THAT IS "HEROES". NOW, THESE CHARACTERS MAY BE THE TYPE WE ALL LOVE TO HATE OR, IN SOME WEIRD CASES, RELATE TO. WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU HAD A RUN IN WITH A real VILLIAN OF MALICIOUS PROPORTIONS?
CLOSE YOUR EYES AND LET YOUR IMAGINATION RUN WILD FOR A MOMENT. NOW THINK BACK TO THE YEAR 1944. IMAGINE BEING TERRIFIED FOR YOUR LIFE AS YOU STRUGGLE TO BREATHE. YOU ARE IN A CATTLE CARE WITH 80 OTHER PEOPLE. IN THE MIDST OF ALL THE CONFUSION, YOU STILL FIND THE STRENGTH TO REMAIN CALM AS YOUR UNCERTAIN FUTURE GROWS CLOSER WITH EVERY SQUEAKY ROTATION OF THE WHEELS ON THE TRAIN. SOON YOU FEEL THE DEATH TRAIN SLOW AND THE HARSH VOICES OF THE SS, ORDERING YOU THROW OUT YOUR DEAD, AND HAND OVER ALL OF YOUR VALUABLES. THE SS ARE SCRUFFY LOOKING MEN, AS YOU LOOK INTO THE EMPTY EYES OF ONE, YOU ARE STRUCK ON THE TEMPLE AND YOU BLACK OUT. THANKFULLY, A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN HAS TAKEN CARE OF YOU AND LED YOU INTO THE ENTRANCE OF A CAMP...AUCHWITZ-BIRKENAU. UPON ENTERING WITH A LARGE MASS OF PEOPLE WHO DIDN'T KNOW IT THEN, WERE BEING LED TO A FEIRY DEATH IN THE CREMATORIA, THE SS CALLED FOR TWINS. JUST AHEAD THERE IS A MAN, AN SS. HE IS DRESSED IMPECCABLY WITH A HINT OF A SMILE BEHIND HIS BEAUTIFUL, YET STRANGELY COLD EYES. WITH A WHITE GLOVED HAND, HE DIRECT THE MASSES TO THE LEFT. TO THE CREMATORIA. YOU FOLLOW THEM....UNTIL THE MAN SEES YOU. HE ORDERS THE SS TO BRING YOU TO HIM. HE SMILES AS HE SUBTLY HIDES HIS INTEREST IN YOU. HE ASKS YOU IF YOU ARE TRULY JEWISH. YOU ARE CONFUSED, WHY WOULD THIS POLITE MAN ASK YOU SUCH A QUESTION? YOU ANSWER YES. HE IS CURIOUS BECAUSE OF YOUR PERFECT ARYAN LOOKS. YOU HAVE GOLDEN BLOND HAIR WITH DEEP BLUE EYES. THE MAN ORDERS THE SS TO TAKE YOU TO THE BLOCK WHERE THE TWINS WERE BEING KEPT, ALTHOUGH YOU ARE NOT A TWIN. YOU HAVE JUST COME FACE TO FACE WITH THE ANGEL OF DEATH HIMSELF. JOSEF MENGELE IS WITHOUT A DOUBT THE MOST MALICIOUS HACK TO HAVE EVER HID BEHIND THE TITLE OF MEDIAL PRACTITIONER. THE ANGEL OF DEATH HAD TAKEN A KEEN INTEREST IN YOU, AND FOR THE NEXT TO YEARS YOU ARE SUBJECTED TO THE MOST INHUMANE EXPERIMENTS EVER CONDUCTED IN THE NAME OF FRAUDULENT SCIENCE. FOR EXAMPLE JOSEF MEGELE PERFORMED EXPLORATORY OPEN HEART SURGERY ON YOU, WITHOUT ANESTHSIA, YOU UNEXPECTEDLY SURVIVED. HE INJECTED CHEMICALS IN OUR EYES AND TRIED TO CHANGE THEIR COLOR, THIS PROCEDURE LEFT YOU BLIND FOR WEEKS. YOU WERE CASTRATED, AGAIN WITHOUT ANESTHSIA. FINALLY, AFTER MONTHS OF EXTENSIVE EXPERIMENTS AND ENDLESS BLOOD DRAWING YOU BEG FOR DEATH. THE ANGEL OBLIGES. YOU ARE INTENTIONALLY EXPOSED TO TUBERCULOSIS, THEN THE DOCTOR INJECTED YOU WITH DIFFERENT SOLUTIONS TO TRY TO CURE YOU OF THE DISEASE, 3 DAYS LATER YOU DIE DUE TO COMPLICATIONS FROM YOUR OTHER SURGERIES AND THEN THE TB. NOW, ARE YOUR EYES STILL CLOSED? ARE YOU SCARED? THIS EXPERIENCE WAS MILD COMPARED TO THE OTHER SITUATIONS OF MENGELE'S TWINS. IT STILL AMAZES ME TODAY THAT PEOPLE CAN HAVE THE CAPACITY TO DO SUCH EVIL, THEN TRY TO JUSTIFY IT IN THE NAME OF SCIENCE. JOSEF MENGELE FAILED AS A HUMAN BEING, HE DOESN'T EVEN DESERVE TO BE CONDSIDERED HUMAN. TO ADD INSULT TO INJURY, MENGELE ESCAPED PROSECUTION FOR WAR CRIMES BY GOING TO SOUTH AMERICA, WHERE HE LATER DIED OF A STROKE WHILE SWIMMING. TO THIS DAY THE SURVIVING MENGELE TWINS LIVE WITH THE HORROR OF WHAT WAS DONE TO THEM. I SUGGEST YOU READ "CHILDREN OF THE FLAMES" IT IS A BOOK WHICH CHRONICLES THE EXPERIMENTS CONDUCTED BY MENGELE AT BIRKENAU AND THE LIVES OF THE SURVIVING TWINS TODAY. YOU SHOULD ALSO LOOK AT MENGELE'S WIKIPEDIA PAGE--THE HEINOUS CRIMES EXTEND FURTHER THAN JUST TWINS.

AWW SHUCKS, YOU DROPPED YOUR FETUS

THAT IS A TITLE I GOT FROM AMANDA AND MARTHA. THEY'RE UBER RANDOM LIKE THAT. I WAS AT A VOLLEYBALL TOURNAMENT TODAY AT MAYO. WE LOST 3 OUT OF THE 4 GAMES WE PLAYED. NOT BAD, I GUESS. WELL BEFORE OUR 4TH GAME WE WERE CHILLIN IN THE HALLWAY WHEN AMANDA DECIDED TO GRAB ME AROUND THE STOMACH AND SPIN ME. IT WAS FUN, THEN RACHEL DECIDED TO DO IT TO ME TOO, ONLY RACHEL WASN'T AS STRONG AS SHE THOUGHT SHE WAS. SHE TOTALLY DROPPED ME, MID-SPIN IN THE AIR RIGHT ON MY HITTING ARM AND HIP BONE. IT HURT LIKE A MOTHERLESS. SHE SAID THE FUNNIEST THING "OH, I THINK I BROKE HER" SHE SEEMED GENUINELY SORRY, THAT JUST GOES TO SHOW THAT YOU SHOULDN'T HORSEPLAY BEFORE A GAME :] SO NOW I'M THE FETUS....THAT WAS DROPPED....AWW SHUCKS, THAT SUCKS LOL

Genuis? I think so...

LAST YEAR, I WROTE A POEM ABOUT STILL PRESIDENT GEORGE W. BUSH.
I HOPE YOU LIKE IT!

Averaged a "C" at an Ivy League
Its a wonder he got there, with all the stupidity
We voted for him once, but a second term?
a message to all voters, here's a lesson learned
His decisions on Iraq led to mass confusion
Leaving the U.N. with feelings of non-inclusion
Many of the elite left his administration
Cause for shame, dishonor, even humiliation
History will look upon him and frown
The man will never live his legacy down
Everything he has done has been stupid or wrong
But on the brightside, a few months and he's gone
Eventually a conclusion to our horrible delusion
The solution is simple--substitution
"Who is he?" you wonder, lets have a look-see
Hes the epitome of a caricature of presidency


Yes, I did actually write that myself. Maybe I should send it in to one of those pundit entertainment shows and possibly score myself and internship as a writer in the future--psshh, yea right! lol